Funny Women Jokes

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Hello Stranger.
Stranger: Hello Stranger too
You: Tell me something funny.
Stranger: why'd humpty dumpty push his girlfriend of the wall?
You: I don't know, why?
Stranger: to see her crack =]
You: LOL!
You: You're funny.
Stranger: i know =]
You: Do you want to hear a joke?
Stranger: go onm
Stranger: on*
You: Why did God give women orgasms?
Stranger: i dunno why?
You: So they would have something else to moan about.
Stranger: lmao, take it your a dude?:L
You: Of course.
Stranger: that was a good one lol
You: Why do men fart more than women?
Stranger: why lol
You: Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
You:
Why did god give men penises?
Stranger: thats so true :o
You: So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!
Stranger: i dunno why lol
You: What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?
You: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
Stranger: hmm
You: How is a woman like a laxative?
You: They both irritate the shit out of you.
Stranger: lmao, how many of these do you have?:L
You: 50 more
Stranger: hit me lol
You: Why did God give women nipples?
You: To make suckers out of men.
Stranger: why lol
Stranger: lmao
You: Why are hangovers better than women? Hangovers will go away.
You: Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
You: Why is a woman like a dog turd? The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.
Stranger: awesome :L
Stranger: :L:L
You: Why are women like screen doors?
Stranger: more lol
You: I need you to try to answer some of these.
Stranger: i dunno lmao
You: Once they banged a few times they loosen up.
Stranger: lmao ill try thew next ones :P
You: How do you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Stranger: say u faked it? lol
You: Wipe your dick on the curtains.
You: This one should be easy. What's the most active muscle in a woman?
Stranger: :L
You: 5 seconds
Stranger: tougnt?
Stranger: tougne*
You: Penis.
You: Toungue lol
Stranger: lmao
You: How are women like parking spaces?
Stranger: all u wanna do is park ur car on them? lol
You: lol
You: probably better than the real answer
You: which is The best ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.
You: What's the difference between a woman and a coffin?
Stranger: lmao!
Stranger: u can get inside a coffin?
You: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
Stranger: i dunno lolo
You: You can unscrew a light bulb.
You: LOL; What do you call that useless piece of skin around a pussy?
Stranger: lmao!:L
You: A woman!
Stranger: i dunno :L
Stranger: LMAO!
You: What's the definition of Male Chauvinist Pig?
You: A man who hates every bone in a woman's body--except his own.
Stranger: Hitler?:L
You: How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
Stranger: a legend then lol
Stranger: none they're too lazy? lol
You: None. They let the bitch do it after she finishes the dishes.
You: you got it right kinda
Stranger: Awesome :L
You: How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
You: None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.
Stranger: one, after the bitch is dome making me a sandwhich? lol
You: haha
Stranger: lmao
You: Why did God create lesbians?
Stranger: so men would have something to watch? lol
You: So feminists couldn't breed.
You: Why can't you trust women?
Stranger: lmao
You: How can you trust something that can bleed for five days and not die?
You: What's the best thing about a blowjob?
You: Ten minutes of silence.
Stranger: wow :L do you just like randomly make these?
You: I make them all up on the spot
You: nah I have a site
Stranger: lmao i wud;ve believed you lol
You: Last one for the day
You: What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
You: Divorced.
Stranger: lmao
You: wait i have a good one
Stranger: hit me lol
You: Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married
women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
You: lol that makes fun of men
Stranger: lmao yeha bit it was good :P
You have disconnected.